Highs and Lows

I started out this week with a serious grappling high on Sunday. After instructing the ladies class, I was able to get in a few great rolls between Ryan and Brian. I finally felt as though I was beginning to move the way I need to - and without gassing out.

I went to my class for grad school Monday morning then went in to work, and by the time I got to the gym I was pretty burnt out. Luckily, Ryan noticed that I wasn't myself and instead of pulling his usual "toughen Jen up" mode, he was extremely encouraging. I think he's trying to turn over a new leaf in how he talks to me and the desired effect was achieved. However, I seemed to have lost the sense of BJJ ease that I had arrived at on Sunday afternoon.

I woke up this morning with a renewed desire to work hard at developing my BJJ and the fire was stoked even more when I heard from my friend in Richmond, Son Duong. Son is moving back home, and his home happens to be here in the DC area. Why was I so excited you may ask? ...because Son is a 115 lb man who also happened to place second in the adult blue belt division at the Mundial this year!

Tonight, I ended up with a training partner slightly larger than normal and one of the drills we were doing just didn't quite feel right. I made an unconscious adjustment due to the size/height difference - which was right - but due to one crucial piece missing it took Ryan a little bit to see that I wasn't just trying to be difficult, I was having a specific difficulty (my explanation skills are still lacking sometimes). And my "fix" made it harder for me to feel the piece I was missing and for him to see it and explain it. Ryan noticed though and changed tactics so I was finally able to understand what he was trying to get me to do and, of course, it ended up working in the end.

This slightly frustrating class was followed by a less than ideal rolling situation. Despite two good rolls with Brian - one where I finally got his back (he is the squirmiest dude I've ever met), I left feeling less than thrilled about BJJ.

Something odd that I've noticed the last few days.

Ryan is the first person who has ever coached me (in anything) who is harder on me than I am on myself. He has yelled and demanded more when I had given my all. We had a conversation about my mental needs as a student/competitor last week (thanks, Alex!) and he has noticeably changed his tactics to be more encouraging instead of mentally debilitating. Ironically enough, now that he is going slightly easier on me, instead of being mad at him for talking to me a certain way, I am suddenly instantly harder on myself. Talk about some sort of unintended reverse psychology...